Female
Asian
Studying in the UK ~


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friendship is aggressively scream singing My Little Pony songs at your friend when they’re being pessimistic and refusing to listen to you

friendship is aggressively scream singing My Little Pony songs at your friend when they’re being pessimistic and refusing to listen to you

(Source: awkwardbirds)

phillypu:

Sometimes you just have to recharge.image

—-

It’s not that I don’t want to be with friends and chill. I love doing that! But sometimes I just need to have some alone time too!

definitiveme:

badassqueergoddess:

smitethepatriarchy:

theroguefeminist:

misandry-mermaid:

malesexistbehavior:

emmyandsuch:

This is the line that has gotten me through life.

This is some victim blaming bullshit that seems to come from someone that has never experienced the psychological mindfuck of ongoing abuse. Coercion is not consent. Bullying is not consent. Repeating that you are inferior over and over again until you believe it is not consent (it’s a form of brainwashing). I couldn’t see this on my dash and not say something. This is wrong.

Totally blatant victim blaming

Yeah my immediate thought when I saw this was…what? Who actually CONSENTS to feeling inferior?This also reminds me of people who are oppressed and brought up to feel inferior because of who you are. Sometimes that way of thinking is all you know and it can be very hard to undo it

Yeah this kind of thing is 100% victim blaming and also a highly common and very heinous abuse tactic. You tell them they’re doing something bad, and they immediately turn it around on you and make it your fault, make you the bad one for feeling bad in the first place.
Here’s the thing. My parents treated me like I was shit from a time before I can remember. You want to try and tell me I consented to being raised on the idea that if I didn’t act as a perfect extension of them then I was a worthless fuckup who didn’t deserve love? Feeling inferior was my bread and butter. Feeling inferior was air. Feeling inferior was like feeling warmth from the sun. It was normal. It was just there. I was 16 before I knew there was any other way to fucking feel. So don’t tell me that I fucking consented to it because I will take that as consent to kick your fucking ass.

Thank you for articulating why this gif makes me so uncomfortable.

hmmm. I understand why many people feel uncomfortable with this line of thinking - and it is a victim blaming mentality, however maybe we should also remember the OP stated this one quote has got her through feeling inferior. We don’t know how. I could project my own experiences as to how it has actually helped me but that would be down playing  and erasing her experiences. 
I think it is interesting that there is this subset of thinking on tumblr that makes it okay to erase peoples experiences. Instead of looking at what has been said and saying “Ok, that is interesting but I see it from this side of the coin” it get’s a little personal in a very NO YOU ARE WRONG BECAUSE THESE REASONS kind of way, and guys… that can serve to invalidate others.
It’s true that you don’t consent to feeling inferior. No-one does. there is an inherent strength though to recognising the institutionalised abuses at play which contribute to the self worth* of a person being systematically whittled away. When we see it - when we recognise it we can begin to change it. Not automatically of course - but eventually. We remove the toxic elements. For some people it’s a person… for other’s it is the draining work of systematically tearing down hegemonic racism, sexism, discrimination (I’m not trying to erase or invalidate anyone’s experiences here). It’s so much easier said then done but in the context of this quote right here - this particular giffed part of this movie?
Mia is made to feel like crap by Lily. Jo points it out subtly - and also points out she has power in this situation if she chooses to take it. She later calls Lily out for this behaviour. The idea behind it is that we have the power (in some circumstances) to own a situation. We just have to find the strength to take it. It’s not easy, and there is no shame in not finding it. Systematic emotional and mental abuse is hard to recover from. But there is always help when you are ready to reach out for it.
Lots of love to everyone on this post. Nothing was EVER your fault.
*not the word I wanted, but my brain isn’t functioning so well at the moment thanks to therapy, increased meds, antibiotics and all that shit. bleurgh

definitiveme:

badassqueergoddess:

smitethepatriarchy:

theroguefeminist:

misandry-mermaid:

malesexistbehavior:

emmyandsuch:

This is the line that has gotten me through life.

This is some victim blaming bullshit that seems to come from someone that has never experienced the psychological mindfuck of ongoing abuse. Coercion is not consent. Bullying is not consent. Repeating that you are inferior over and over again until you believe it is not consent (it’s a form of brainwashing). I couldn’t see this on my dash and not say something. This is wrong.

Totally blatant victim blaming

Yeah my immediate thought when I saw this was…what? Who actually CONSENTS to feeling inferior?

This also reminds me of people who are oppressed and brought up to feel inferior because of who you are. Sometimes that way of thinking is all you know and it can be very hard to undo it

Yeah this kind of thing is 100% victim blaming and also a highly common and very heinous abuse tactic. You tell them they’re doing something bad, and they immediately turn it around on you and make it your fault, make you the bad one for feeling bad in the first place.

Here’s the thing. My parents treated me like I was shit from a time before I can remember. You want to try and tell me I consented to being raised on the idea that if I didn’t act as a perfect extension of them then I was a worthless fuckup who didn’t deserve love? Feeling inferior was my bread and butter. Feeling inferior was air. Feeling inferior was like feeling warmth from the sun. It was normal. It was just there. I was 16 before I knew there was any other way to fucking feel. So don’t tell me that I fucking consented to it because I will take that as consent to kick your fucking ass.

Thank you for articulating why this gif makes me so uncomfortable.

hmmm. I understand why many people feel uncomfortable with this line of thinking - and it is a victim blaming mentality, however maybe we should also remember the OP stated this one quote has got her through feeling inferior. We don’t know how. I could project my own experiences as to how it has actually helped me but that would be down playing  and erasing her experiences. 

I think it is interesting that there is this subset of thinking on tumblr that makes it okay to erase peoples experiences. Instead of looking at what has been said and saying “Ok, that is interesting but I see it from this side of the coin” it get’s a little personal in a very NO YOU ARE WRONG BECAUSE THESE REASONS kind of way, and guys… that can serve to invalidate others.

It’s true that you don’t consent to feeling inferior. No-one does. there is an inherent strength though to recognising the institutionalised abuses at play which contribute to the self worth* of a person being systematically whittled away. When we see it - when we recognise it we can begin to change it. Not automatically of course - but eventually. We remove the toxic elements. For some people it’s a person… for other’s it is the draining work of systematically tearing down hegemonic racism, sexism, discrimination (I’m not trying to erase or invalidate anyone’s experiences here). It’s so much easier said then done but in the context of this quote right here - this particular giffed part of this movie?

Mia is made to feel like crap by Lily. Jo points it out subtly - and also points out she has power in this situation if she chooses to take it. She later calls Lily out for this behaviour. The idea behind it is that we have the power (in some circumstances) to own a situation. We just have to find the strength to take it. It’s not easy, and there is no shame in not finding it. Systematic emotional and mental abuse is hard to recover from. But there is always help when you are ready to reach out for it.

Lots of love to everyone on this post. Nothing was EVER your fault.

*not the word I wanted, but my brain isn’t functioning so well at the moment thanks to therapy, increased meds, antibiotics and all that shit. bleurgh

(Source: octopussoir-)

When I was seventeen and preparing to leave for university, my mother’s only brother saw fit to give me some advice.
“Just don’t be an idiot, kid,” he told me, “and don’t ever forget that boys and girls can never just be friends.”
I laughed and answered, “I’m not too worried. And I don’t really think all guys are like that.”

When I was eighteen and the third annual advent of the common cold was rolling through residence like a pestilent fog, a friend texted me asking if there was anything he could do to help.
I told him that if he could bring me up some vitamin water that would be great, if it wasn’t too much trouble.
That semester I learned that human skin cells replace themselves every three to five weeks. I hoped that in a month, maybe I’d stop feeling the echoes of his touch; maybe my new skin would feel cleaner.
It didn’t. But I stood by what I said. Not all guys are like that.

When I was nineteen and my roommate decided the only way to celebrate the end of midterms was to get wasted at a club, I humoured her.
Four drinks, countless leers and five hands up my skirt later, I informed her I was ready to leave.
“I get why you’re upset,” she told me on the walk home, “but you have to tolerate that sort of thing if you want to have any fun. And really, not all guys are like that.”

(Age nineteen also saw me propositioned for casual sex by no fewer than three different male friends, and while I still believe that guys and girls can indeed be just friends, I was beginning to see my uncle’s point.)

When I was twenty and a stranger that started chatting to me in my usual cafe asked if he could walk with me (since we were going the same way and all), I accepted.
Before we’d even made it three blocks he was pulling me into an alleyway and trying to put his hands up my shirt. “You were staring,” he laughed when I asked what the fuck he was doing (I wasn’t), “I’m just taking pity.”
But not all guys are like that.

I am twenty one and a few days ago a friend and I were walking down the street. A car drove by with the windows down, and a young man stuck his head out and whistled as they passed. I ignored it, carrying on with the conversation.
My friend did not. “Did you know those people?” He asked.
“Not at all,” I answered.
Later when we sat down to eat he got this thoughtful look on his face. When I asked what was wrong he said, “You know not all guys do that kind of thing, right? We’re not all like that.”
As if he were imparting some great profound truth I’d never realized before. My entire life has been turned around, because now I’ve been enlightened: not all guys are like that.

No. Not all guys are. But enough are. Enough that I am uncomfortable when a man sits next to me on the bus. Enough that I will cross to the other side of the street if I see a pack of guys coming my way. Enough that even fleeting eye contact with a male stranger makes my insides crawl with unease. Enough that I cannot feel safe alone in a room with some of my male friends, even ones I’ve known for years. Enough that when I go out past dark for chips or milk or toilet paper, I carry a knife, I wear a coat that obscures my figure, I mimic a man’s gait. Enough that three years later I keep the story of that day to myself, when the only thing that saved me from being raped was a right hook to the jaw and a threat to scream in a crowded dorm, because I know what the response will be.

I live my life with the everburning anxiety that someone is going to put their hands on me regardless of my feelings on the matter, and I’m not going to be able to stop them. I live with the knowledge that statistically one in three women have experienced a sexual assault, but even a number like that can’t be trusted when we are harassed into silence. I live with the learned instinct, the ingrained compulsion to keep my mouth shut to jeers and catcalls, to swallow my anger at lewd suggestions and crude gestures, to put up my walls against insults and threats. I live in an environment that necessitates armouring myself against it just to get through a day peacefully, and I now view that as normal. I have adapted to extreme circumstances and am told to treat it as baseline. I carry this fear close to my heart, rooted into my bones, and I do so to keep myself unharmed.

So you can tell me that not all guys are like that, and you’d even be right, but that isn’t the issue anymore. My problem is not that I’m unaware of the fact that some guys are perfectly civil, decent, kind—my problem is simply this:

In a world where this cynical overcaution is the only thing that ensures my safety, I’m no longer willing to take the risk.

r.d. (via vonmoire)

(Source: elferinge)

flirtey:

exasperatingme:

a-modest-mans-only-rebel-son:

nahshaw:

true love is having a crush on him even after he got a haircut

the female mind is a very strange place.

No one’s denying it

most accurate textpost i’ve ever seen